Me in 2016

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My 2016 will mean “more presence”, more content. I just have to shake of the constant sense of “Man, I can’t write a blog entry when I have this work here and that deadline there”. If I follow that road, I become really silent, because there is constantly something urgent to do. If there is NOT, I really have to do a whole bunch of worryin. I was super silent in 2015.

And I feel guilty having a moment off. While spare time is normal for everyone, a freaklancer (lacking a preset inherent work cycle) might be tempted to feel not entitled to any spare time, as there is this urgent deadline, and I am late for this project or that.

I think, this is rubbish, and doesn’t really lead to a great mindset and quality of life. Yes, I have some projects, yes, my album is late. BUT, instead of feeling bad about it all the time, I try to be productive, to do good work, make progress, and then take the time I need to recover, relax, regroup – and to talk more. Pondering over the silent weeks around the holidays, I realised, I need to express myself, to make life matter more, to be more present in the passage of time, and most important, for my sanity.

So, this year, I will try to write more, point out something interesting here or there, recommend, warn, inform, teach … I don’t have the time to be brilliant all the time, or super well researched. I’d still feel guilty if I spent many hours on a deep article while there is red-blinking work on my desk. But a few paragraphs? Why not!

It might just be a small hint here, or a nice game I played there. But, trying to drop at least a blog post every other day will make me feel present again in the goings-on of today, and for someone with my wicked mind, this is a healthy thing.

just played: Magic 2013: Duels of the Planeswalkers
just watched: Simpsons
just read: the crap you folks write on Facebook 😉

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Almost there …

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Coffee breaks of productivity! I just need the header for 2 categories, and our redesign is complete. Good practise for the album artwork I need to wrap up soon …
Tomorrow is teaching time again …

just played: assassin’s creed black flag
just watched: jim sterling – assassin’s creed thingy india
just read: still count of monte christo
just heard: cooptional podcast 105

New Design trodding along

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Almost done with the restructuring… New look for Game Design and Music is done, too. Rest will follow.

It’s kinda nice to polish this little blog in coffee breaks, but now I start to feel the new year taking up speed again …  A lot of contact with clients today, new work coming in. I like! But: I have to fight to keep remembering all my other things, #1 of them the album of course.

I also want to reinstall a weird little thing I had on my old website: Adding some needless “Now” info to my posts, just to make them super-current. 😉 Might be just more noise, might be interesting, I don’t know. Like this:

just played: dirt showdown
just watched: let’s drown out… james pond 2 (youtube.com/user/yahtzee19)
just read: the count of monte cristo (alexandre dumas)

Re-designing this, more posts, new stuff

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New year, new things one wants to do. I think, a blog is good for me. Helps me keep track of days, of progress, helps with the old mood swings and stuff …

I want to do some new things here, and want to post more often. Right now it’s a bit of a mess here, but I hope to have more to show soon.

It’s always a guilt thing: I have things to do, so let’s address this here: I am doing this for me, next to my work, not instead of work. So, me, don’t feel bad about this. It’s not wasted time, it helps me to focus and to keep my mind clean and sane. (I hope)  Blinking deadlines are good for me AND stress me out, which usually silences me (between stress, guilt and the feeling of fading away from the present). Weird, but there you are.

I have to go through all my old posts and update them to fit them into my new structure, wahhh…. This will take a week or two.